Hi I'm Tami ...
Our stories are unique, but they are also the same ...
I Was Living Unconsciously
I had a fulfilling therapy practice, two amazing children, great friends, and a stable, kind marriage. On a good day, life felt in control. On a bad day, I felt exactly as I had as a young teenager: insecure, anxious, and not good enough.
And there were more bad days than I wanted to admit.
I thought I had healed old wounds, but I had only gotten better at hiding them. I still felt I had to do everything alone, but now I was a mother, so it was expected. I still doubted my intelligence and capability, but now I could armor myself with my degrees. I still self-medicated to quiet my boredom and dissatisfaction, but now it was wine instead of drugs.
I gave more of myself than I kept, moving through each day on autopilot, being responsible, doing what I was supposed to do, following the rules. Deep down, something whispered, This isn’t it. You’re not fully here.
The harder I tried to fix it, the more painfully alone I felt.
The Turning Point
Just before my 40th birthday, everything changed. While on vacation in Singapore, a vein ruptured in my mother’s brain, and she collapsed and died.
A second-generation Holocaust survivor, my mother carried her parents’ pain and grief. Her childhood fears of loss often immobilized her, keeping her trapped in outdated patterns of protection:
“Don’t make waves. Be a good girl. Always take care of others.”
Her sudden death yanked me out of a trance and shattered the illusion that I was awake. I realized much of my life had been built on the same fears, beliefs, and inherited patterns from childhood.
While trying to protect myself from old pain, I had been creating new pain. I was abandoning myself and standing in the way of my own purpose.
I began to examine the programs still running my life:
- I have to be in control to feel safe
- I can’t rely on anyone else but myself
- I am alone
These core beliefs were blocking me from living authentically and freely. To truly release them, I would have to inquire into the parts of me I had suppressed and silenced for decades.
The Birth of Radical Self-Acceptance Therapy™ (RSAT)
One afternoon, collapsed on the floor of my bedroom closet, I suddenly saw an image of my teenage self appear in my mind. Her eyes blazed as she glared at me.
“You weren’t there for me,” she said.
At first, I thought she meant my parents or my husband. Then she shouted again, “YOU!” and I knew she was right.
For decades, I had tried to fix, manage, and perfect myself, without realizing that in doing so, I was abandoning her again and again.
That moment stopped me in my tracks.
She didn’t need me to fix her. She wasn’t broken. She needed me to stay and witness her pain instead of rushing to make it go away.
- So I stayed.
- I listened.
- I asked her to tell me more.
Wave after wave of emotion moved through me. Anger softened into sadness. Sadness into relief. And finally, what remained was something I hadn’t felt in years: wholeness.
That day, I discovered what years of professional training had never taught me.
Trauma separates us from ourselves, and healing is a return to self.
The return to self is not about fixing what is broken. It is about reclaiming what has been abandoned and never had a chance to complete.
Out of this realization, Radical Self-Acceptance Therapy™ (RSAT) was born. This method is designed to meet and heal the parts of ourselves we have abandoned, allowing us to reclaim wholeness without fixing what was never broken.
Through developing and practicing this method, I healed my relationship with my younger self and discovered a new kind of freedom.
Coming Home to Myself
Today, I am no longer terrified of being found out as not good enough. I no longer feel like an imposter or alone. Does that mean I am perfect or have it all figured out? Absolutely not. But I no longer carry the heavy weight of the past.
I have built a loving home inside myself, a place where I belong and where every part of me is welcome, no matter how many times I have fallen or failed.
I know my strengths and I am committed to sharing my gifts with the world.
That is why, alongside one-on-one therapy work, I focus on teaching, writing, and creating tools that help others heal. My new book, Unfractured: Becoming Whole Again with Radical Self-Acceptance™ (RSAT), and the online resources that follow, are part of this next chapter, a space where you can learn, grow, and reconnect with your own inner wholeness.
You have unique gifts this world desperately needs.
My mission is to help you release the old fears and untruths that have been running your life and holding you back. I want to guide you from a state of protection to a state of connection, where your confidence, creativity, and purpose can finally breathe.
Let me guide you beyond the limits of who you thought you were and back to the truth of who you have always been.
Tami
My Beliefs
We are made of mind, body and spirit. All three aspects must be included in a healthy lifestyle. When one of these is off balance, the whole system is affected, and we experience suffering.
When emotions are not processed, they create a stuckness in the mind-body spirit and can manifest in mental, emotional or physical symptoms. A central role of therapy is to cultivate the ability to process emotions.
We all have small, medium and large experiences of overwhelm where we feel sad, scared or ashamed and alone with these feelings. These experiences are at the core of ALL our life difficulty.
All of our unhealthy habits, addictions, and vices are protective in nature. The key is to uncover how they are protecting us and build new, supportive habits that don’t carry such a large price.
Most of our functioning and the way we structure our life is based on beliefs and protective patterns that were created before the age of 8. Bringing these unconscious patterns to conscious awareness is a central part of therapy.
When I was in graduate school, the leading theory on the brain was that brain cells could not regenerate. Now we know that the brain changes all the time. Connections between brain cells can be strengthened or atrophied, and it is up to us to choose
which connections we want to make stronger and which weaker.
Trauma is stored in the nervous system, therefor we must consider our nervous system in our healing process. Nervous system regulation is essential for long-lasting health.
Bringing our attention to the body is essential for deep and permanent change. We use the body to reveal information and to anchor the healing.
Mindfulness is everything in therapy! The ability to take a step back and observe what is occurring in our mind and our body is the foundation for healing and life-long health.
Every difficulty is an opportunity to deepen our commitment to ourselves and release the old beliefs and unconscious patterns that are holding us back. We all have a purpose and gifts to share. It’s our task to find what they are and open them!
My Training
- Masters of Clinical Psychology
- Bachelors of Psychology
- EMDR Practitioner Diploma
- Master Clinical Hypnotherapist Certification
- Emotional Freedom Technique Certification (EFT)
- Life Coaching Training
- Hakomi Training
- Focusing Oriented Therapy Training (FOT)
- Solution Focused Therapy Training (SFT)
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Training (CBT)
- Mindfulness Therapy Training
- Somatic Therapy Training
- Crisis Intervention Training
- Relationship and Couple Therapy Training
- Internal Family Systems Therapy Training (IFS)